How to Stop Criticizing Yourself and Embrace Your Flaws
As women, we’re subjected to some pretty harsh criticism about how we look, how we feel or how we behave when we’re true to ourselves.
It’s not just about self-body shaming; it’s also the shaming of our confidence. We hear things like, women who post selfies must be full of themselves; women who wear revealing clothes must be sluts; women who are opinionated must be bitches and it’s all just so fucking exhausting. WHY are we constantly battling these monsters that get us to start questioning ourselves?
What we truly need to do is start loving what we have and who we are right now and give ourselves credit for the heaping piles of shit we’re constantly surviving.
Here’s how (and why) you should stop criticizing your flaws and start loving them instead:
Fact: Society sucks.
These days, everyone has an opinion for everything and the sad fact is that most of those people actually believe their opinions are right and relevant and there’s no telling them otherwise. Tune them out. The first step is realizing you’re never going to please everyone and the only person you truly need to worry about satisfying is yourself.
Your imperfections tell your story.
When you look at yourself in the mirror and have those self-sabotaging thoughts about who you are or what you look like, turn them around and make a positive proclamation instead. Understand that every detail about you is the product of your own life journey. You’re the product of your good days, your bad days, your battles with illnesses and your triumph over challenges. Salute yourself. You deserve it.
There’s no such thing as perfection.
No one is perfect and like I said, most women aren’t completely happy with themselves, even the ones who are seemingly “perfect.” One person’s 4 is someone else’s perfect 10 but for you, you should always be your own 10. Being imperfect is a version of perfection- your own personal version.
You’re doing the best that you can- that’s all that matters.
Whether you miss a few weeks at the gym or neglect certain projects that are looming over your head, give yourself credit for the things that you are doing and working towards as best as you can. Give yourself credit for trying again if you have a few bad days, weeks or even months, despite the roadblocks. Whether it’s regarding your fitness plan or trying to find love, whatever the reason, you’re only one person and you can only do so much. Small steps are big steps in the grand scheme. And remember, any step you take is always a forward direction.
You’re entitled to live life on your own terms.
It’s exhausting constantly trying to live up to an ideal that seems to appeal to the masses and I’m not encouraging you to be completely unhealthy or unruly and be okay with it but you are entitled to be yourself, try your best and love yourself fully through the entire process. You should love yourself on day one of a workout program as much as you love yourself on day 90 when your body has shown significant change. The same should be true of any goal you chase. Do you and be happy with it, every step of the way. It’s your right and no one else is going to do it for you.
Women are strong and badass goddesses.
Women do enough as it is. It’s ridiculous that we still combat these ideals that tells us we should be or look a certain way when each and every one of us if uniquely and beautifully different. At the end of the day, we’re all one in many ways and we need to start seeing the bigger picture and heralding the good things instead of focusing on the flaws. We fight norms. We beat the odds constantly. We inspire each other. We fight and conquer our illnesses. We touch lives. We create lives. We fuel lives. Without us, there would be nothing.
Next time you look in the mirror or have any kind of self-sabotaging thought, replace it with something that empowers you instead. You’re not fat, you have a beautiful heart. You’re not crazy, you’re a passionate soul. You’re not ugly; you have a warm and friendly smile. You’re not flawed; you’re perfectly imperfect just the way you are.