July 4th Period Survival Guide: When You’re More Red than White & Blue
Is there anything worse than getting your period in the sweltering heat? As if the pains of bloating and cramping during the regular temperatures weren’t enough, throwing in some dry heat or humidity can make that time of the month even more unbearable.
With the 4th of July right around the bend, you’ll likely be squeezing yourself into your most patriotic attire and even though you’re unceremoniously sporting the color red before the white and blue, you can pull through this holiday weekend and celebrate your independence with this period survival guide.
Guzzle that H20.
It might seem counterproductive to continue knocking back the water when your body is already retaining every drop it can find like crazy but even if it make you feel even more bloating, water intake will actually help you flush out the bloating faster than avoiding water altogether. This is especially important if you’re having a few more cocktails or beers than normal. H20 is your celebration bestie.
Solicit friends/family and make planning a group effort.
If you’re overwhelmed with all the things you need to get done, especially if you’re hosting a party or planning on attending a special event, coordinate with the rest of your group and have them help out on the planning or help with bringing food and desserts. Don’t try to be a superwoman if you’re not completely up to it- even Super Woman gets her period.
DO NOT engage in political chatter – DO NOT!
If patriotic chit chat steers into some heavy political subject matter, abort, I repeat, ABORT MISSION! Your vagina is already breathing fire and your hormones can not be trusted with the things that may come out of your mouth. Instead, smile, nod, turn away, and head to the nearest beverage station for another cramp sedation cocktail.
Keep active and moving.
Sometimes the whole ignorance is bliss thing is the best way to handle period survival. If you pretend it’s not really there and keep moving on with your life, it can tame your symptoms. It’s the old “fake it til’ you make it” trick. If that fails, however…
If the going gets tough, take a siesta.
Sometimes your period can kick your ass, and that’s OK. You might have places to go and people to see, but if things get really bad, take a timeout and give yourself the reward of a nap to calm your nervous system. When you’re on your period, your entire body is riding a roller coaster of emotions and snap pains from your abdomen to your lower pelvic area. It’s completely acceptable to rest. The 4th of July isn’t worth torturing yourself.
Have an orgasm.
Sex or self-pleasure can actually be the number one thing your body needs when it’s going through the turmoil of a period. An orgasm released that beloved feel good hormone, oxytocin, the “feel good” hormone that gives you back your energy and puts an added bounce in your step. Plus, who doesn’t love a good orgasm, or several?
Give yourself permission to indulge and give into your period cravings.
Look, it’s the 4th of July AND you’re on your period- this isn’t time to skimp on snacks and foods. Did you know that your body actually burns extra calories on your period due to the current state of your body functions? Be careful not to go too overboard though, the average woman burns approximately an extra 500 calories during her entire cycle. So yes, you can have that pretty piece of red, white and blue cake.
Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
Did we mention that you need to hydrate? Now is not the time to skip the water. You’ll thank us later.
At a certain point you need to say “Screw It!”
Enjoy as much of the holiday as you can even if your vagina and reproductive system has made other plans. Remember, it’s YOU who runs your body, and not your body who runs you. Practice a bit of mind over matter to ensure period survival, and don’t let your cycle run you over, even if it has decided to keep you company during the most inconvenient time.
Enjoy the fireworks – it’ll all be over soon.
Sure, there might be crimson fireworks coming out of your lady bits, but it’s not the end of the world, nor is it the end of your celebration fun. You’ll survive and eventually your body will celebrate its own independence… from your period… for another few weeks anyways.