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Post-Baby Sex: Why You’ll Want to Wait Six Weeks

Andrea Blair Cirignano

Posted on October 11 2016

Before getting pregnant for the first time, the thought of going weeks without sex sounds crazy, especially if you’re really trying to get pregnant and you’re used to going at it like bunny rabbits.

You’ve probably thought that as soon as this big belly is gone, you’ll feel like yourself again and be ready to jump in the sack ASAP. You might even be surprised when your OB/GYN tells you to wait until you get the go-ahead at your 6-week check up to get busy again.

Here are a few reality checks that might keep your pad-lined pants on for longer than expected after you bring baby home:

Down there is just not the same

One friend’s OB/GYN recommended not even looking down there until 6 weeks postpartum. Even if you’re brave and everything is healing properly, chances are things just won’t look the same so you’ll probably feel a bit more like a medical patient and less like a sexy wife or partner. A few months down the road, you might not notice a difference at all…or things might never be quite the same but you’ll at least have accepted that after you give yourself a little more time.

You are a level of exhaustion that you’ve never experienced

‘I’m tired’ will take on a more powerful meaning than ever before since no matter how many all-nighters you pulled in college, the lack of sleep required to care for a newborn is incomparable. You might cancel a coffee date with a friend (even though you’ll want coffee so badly that you’ll wish you could get it via IV) because you feel it’s unsafe to drive with the amount of sleep you got the night before so it’s quite possible that sex is one of the very last things on your perpetually unfinished to-do list.

Your breasts have a new job

If you are breastfeeding, you are well aware of the girls’ new role and, especially at the beginning, it feels like you always have another person attached to your body. When you’re between feedings, you might want your body to yourself for a hot minute. If you’re not nursing, your body takes a while to get the memo and will still produce milk for the first few days or weeks and sexual arousal can encourage ‘let down’ and leakage which, depending on your personality and relationship with your partner, you might find funny or totally embarrassing. In addition,

It’s uncomfortable and sometimes downright hurts

When you are ready to give it a try, some describe the first time after baby much like the first time ever. Again, if you’re nursing or pumping, lower levels of estrogen will cause vaginal dryness that can lead to additional pain or discomfort. Try a lube for a little more comfort and take some comfort in knowing this will get better with time.

But all of this will get better with time.

Yes, you will want to have sex again and, yes, you will enjoy sex again. Maybe not the first time or the first few times but don’t get discouraged. Also, don’t forget how you got to this place and try to remember that you wanted to create a baby with your partner at one point. After a grace period during the early days, rejection could start to create feelings of neglect so try to give your other half some attention and remember that there are other ways to have fun than just straight-up intercourse so don’t be afraid to get creative while you wait to go all the way (again).

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